My mother is amazing.. that’s all there is to it. It’s safe to say things haven’t turned out quite the way I wish they would have for her but she is incredibly strong, displays such selflessness in each breath and somehow, always knows exactly what to say to make things better. The following paragraph was in an email I received from her, right after I wrote my debbie downer post. This is exactly what I want to be.. exactly what I want to feel and do. Mom, thank you, thank you for your powerful words of wisdom, thank you for your prayers, thank you for your gifts and for your help and for your love.. you’re the best!
I told you that God planned this for you, and I know that with all my heart. And, more importantly, He knows what He's doing, and He knows you can handle this. He didn't trust anyone else with these dear little souls.....He has chosen YOU and He will help you through the challenges. You have to give up the desire to be perfect....and just BE. BE in the moment...BE in the littlest words, the softest whispers, the meaningful smiles, the reassuring hugs, the rare quiet moments.....just BE Mommy and know THAT is THE most important thing in the world.....forever and forever. You certainly don't have to become Mother Earth, BUT, don't worry if the house isn't as clean as you'd like. It's a child's home now.....it's a world of comfort and safety and nurturing. As the days and weeks go by, you'll sift through what's really essential and what doesn't really matter. And, YOUR affirmation now comes from a whole new place. IT COMES FROM WITHIN YOU.....so let God shine through you. Get up in the morning, (or whenever), comb your hair, put on some lip gloss so you feel pretty, and throw your arms upward.....not knowing what the day will bring, but knowing you will find the good and the happy in the hours ahead. Look for the joy and marvel in the amazing, staggering beauty of your children. And, just flow with the day. I know it sounds easy...and I know it's not. But don't make it more difficult than it is by berating yourself and always wishing you were doing more. Take each moment as a new breath.
it’s okay, I cried too =)