truth #5 – regret.
I always used to say ‘live life with no regrets’ but sadly I do not. I have a lot of regrets.. some way too personal to share on here. One of my biggest regrets is not putting effort into friendships in high school and college. Sadly I was too focused on boyfriends and wasted my free time wrapped up in them instead of developing who I was and being with my girlfriends. (please note I had 3 serious boyfriends – one for 8 months – another for 3 years – and another for 3 more years – I feel the need to clarify that I wasn’t a ‘loosey goosey’!) I have really realized this now as I am beginning to see the significance behind strong girlfriend bonds and I am so very sorry to those of you that I treated poorly because of my 'I need a boyfriend to make me happy’ mentality.
Another big regret that sort of goes along with the first I guess was selecting colleges based on the locations of my boyfriends. I went to Methodist College in Fayetteville, NC for one year because my boyfriend at the time was stationed at Fort Bragg. Then when he and I broke up and I started dating my next boyfriend I decided to transfer to his school, West Virginia University. Now, I love each school for very different reasons so I certainly don’t regret ever going to these schools but I do regret not exploring other schools. I regret making the huge decision of which college to attend based solely on which boy I was dating at the time. pitiful.
And I really really regret spending 6 years of my life tied up with those last two boyfriends. Yes, I learned a lot.. yes, at the time I thought everything was wonderful.. yes, they were ‘nice’ guys and I do have some fun memories.. but 6 years, that’s a long freakin’ time.. August 1998 to October 2001.. January 2002 to February 2005.. gone.. all gone.. I feel as though I have very little to show for those years because I was so consumed with those relationships.. if that even makes sense..
I regret not listening to my mother – about a lot of things. No need to go into details because I could type about that all day long but I have really realized that my mom was always right. I love her muchermostest and can’t thank her enough for everything she has done for me and for our family ;o)
No need to go on about other regrets – just something I need to work on within myself. BUT.. I will absolutely, without a doubt, make sure that my children understand the importance of true, strong, meaningful friendships. They will know about my choices and my regrets. I will allow these regrets to make me a better mom.
Love & blessings!