Thursday, March 10, 2011


truth #5 – regret.

I always used to say ‘live life with no regrets’ but sadly I do not.  I have a lot of regrets.. some way too personal to share on here.  One of my biggest regrets is not putting effort into friendships in high school and college.  Sadly I was too focused on boyfriends and wasted my free time wrapped up in them instead of developing who I was and being with my girlfriends.  (please note I had 3 serious boyfriends – one for 8 months – another for 3 years – and another for 3 more years – I feel the need to clarify that I wasn’t a ‘loosey goosey’!)  I have really realized this now as I am beginning to see the significance behind strong girlfriend bonds and I am so very sorry to those of you that I treated poorly because of my 'I need a boyfriend to make me happy’ mentality.

Another big regret that sort of goes along with the first I guess was selecting colleges based on the locations of my boyfriends.  I went to Methodist College in Fayetteville, NC for one year because my boyfriend at the time was stationed at Fort Bragg.  Then when he and I broke up and I started dating my next boyfriend I decided to transfer to his school, West Virginia University.  Now, I love each school for very different reasons so I certainly don’t regret ever going to these schools but I do regret not exploring other schools.  I regret making the huge decision of which college to attend based solely on which boy I was dating at the time. pitiful.

And I really really regret spending 6 years of my life tied up with those last two boyfriends.  Yes, I learned a lot.. yes, at the time I thought everything was wonderful.. yes, they were ‘nice’ guys and I do have some fun memories.. but 6 years, that’s a long freakin’ time.. August 1998 to October 2001.. January 2002 to February 2005.. gone.. all gone.. I feel as though I have very little to show for those years because I was so consumed with those relationships.. if that even makes sense..

I regret not listening to my mother – about a lot of things. No need to go into details because I could type about that all day long but I have really realized that my mom was always right.  I love her muchermostest and can’t thank her enough for everything she has done for me and for our family ;o)

No need to go on about other regrets – just something I need to work on within myself.  BUT.. I will absolutely, without a doubt, make sure that my children understand the importance of true, strong, meaningful friendships.  They will know about my choices and my regrets.  I will allow these regrets to make me a better mom.

Love & blessings!


Lindsay said...

I have the same regrets about girl friendships. But I'm just trying to be the best friend I can be now. I pretty much regret all of high school with the exception of being friends with my hubby since Freshman year!

mom said...

Okay, so you have finally realized that your Mom was right.....she kept telling you but you wouldn't listen!!!

But, she's right about this too...Don't "regret" relationships, because from each that we enter into we learn SOMETHING more about ourselves. It may not be something we LIKE, but if we let ourselves, we DO learn. And, each thing we learn about ourselves allows us to make different choices in the future...hopefully better choices. So, while you can regret the loss of time, or regret spending so much time arguing with your mother that HE was THE ONE, don't regret the opportunities to learn more about yourself. Being the best you can be for the one love truly IS truly loving.

Jil said...

sounds like your mom is still giving pretty great advice! ;o)

Ashleigh said...

You're wrong!!! :) You have A LOT to show for those years you think were wasted. You said it yourself. Had you not gone through all that and done all things 'horrible', would you not be the same as you were before? Therefore you would be raising your children with the same mindset that you regret... It's a circle. Things DO happen for a reason.
For the record, I'm not agreeing with you that you were a bad friend. You were no different than the rest of us. We were experiencing life 'on our own'. You did exactly what you were supposed to life, make choices and learn.
You are an amazing woman and a fabulous friend. Don't beat yourself up over learning about life and all its values. THAT would truly be a waste. Love you Ky!